chapter 4

I can confirm that me and Will got to sleep that night, he let me stay in bed with him so he could ‘protect me from my dreams’. Which is really sweet when you think about it. I would love to know what goes through William’s head. Someone told me once that they thought William was cold because when he was human his parents beat him and he could remember the pain. Another said he is so cold because his mother died. The one I am most curious about though, is the theory that Will was in love once and the girl- or guy- seriously hurt him. It could be a guy. William once said to me (while I was still male) “Only a woman should say such things” when I told him I liked him. He either believes that because he was raised that way or he got hurt by a guy once. I’d love it to be the second one.

“Sutcliff.” He whispered in the morning, he was checking if I was awake.

“Yes?” I whispered in response and rolled onto my side to look at him.

“The management division are holding their annual party and they are forcing me to turn up this time.” He said, “I need to bring a guest.”

“So what are you asking of me?” I asked him and realised his hand was on mine. I don’t, however, think he knew his hand was place on top of mine.

“Will you go with me?” He sighed, “Your company is better than the company of the other females that work in the dispatch team.”

I sat up and brushed my hair while looking into the mirror. Will sat up and looked at me, waiting for an answer which I never gave. The clothing I have at this place is mainly work clothes, though I do have a few nice dresses and skirts.

“Mind leaving me alone to change?” I ask, “And I will give you an answer after breakfast.” Will nods and grabs a neatly folded pile of clothes before walking out towards the bathroom. I assume he was going to go change into some clothing for the day. I bet it is his work suit. The dress I decided to put on was a short knee length red dress with a patterned top half. The bottom half was a free flowing skirt. I decided against my usual red and black heels and went for more revealing red heels with two black straps across them. I braided my hair to the left hand side.

William walked out of the bathroom and looked at me. His jaw dropped looking at me.

“That isn’t your usual attire” He said staring at me. I felt my face heat up as his gaze never averted from me.

“I decided to dress up a bit” I smiled at him. He stepped closer one step then stopped.

“Did you make a decision?” I nodded in response, “what is it?” I nodded again. William also cracked a smile. Seeing William smile is a rare sight, but it is beautiful.

I took Will’s arm and we went out. It was Will’s day off (which he wasn’t happy about having) and I aren’t allowed back for a while until they are 100% sure I am better. I just know that as soon as I see Ronald again, I am going to get triggered and will be back at square one.

Oh it was so romantic. William took me to the beach and then he lifted me as a wave came towards us so that I didn’t get my dress wet. And then we went out for a picnic on a hill. Will made me feel so special and he didn’t have to kiss me or make love to me to do that.

By the end of the day, Will got us back to his home and laid me on the couch. The thought crossed my mind that he was gonna climb over me and start making out with me, but that never happened. He went to the kitchen and poured me a and him a glass of wine.

“Remember what happened last time you drank?” I said smiling, while taking the glass the glass off him. He shook his head making it clear he did remember but he didn’t want to remember. I took a sip of my drink and he did too.

“Sutcliff…” He began but didn’t finish the sentence.

“yes?” I asked. He didn’t answer, he just pulled me into a kiss. It took me a while for me to get used to the fact that Will was kissing me but then I kissed back. I started to think that Will was already drunk. He wouldn’t kiss me if he wasn’t, right?

“I wanted to do that for a while.” He told me then walked into his room. I didn’t know whether to follow or not. I chose not to then Will came back. “You coming.”

Well the night was… strangely intimate. He wasn’t exactly good at it but he had never done it before so I will let him off. I can teach him to be good if he will let me. It is the dance tomorrow but I am thinking about dancing with Will in a different way now. He rolls over to look at me.

“You know you wasn’t bad at it considering it was your first time.” His face was flushed red like a child in embarrassment. “So does this mean we are together?”

“Grell, it is no lie that I am in love with you, but I cannot be in a relationship with you at this time.” I sit up with the sheets over my chest.

“Well I guess I will go to the couch then.”

“You don’t have to. You can stay in the bed.”

“I’ll be fine” I left the room, taking the sheets with me. The couch was awful that night. No matter how much I tossed and turned, I couldn’t get comfortable. It is strange, but it felt like Will had just used me. He’s going to use me to go to that dance, but did he just use me then?

“You know, I don’t know why you hang around with him Grell.” A man said. “He’s never going to be interested in you. He will always give you the cold shoulder.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about Jack. With this much beauty, any man would be lucky to have my attention.” He laughed at my response.

“But you can’t see past the end of your nose” he poked it and then kissed it. “I wish you could. Then you would realise that their is someone who likes you Grell.” 

“Oh really? Who?” He stood up and walked away hearing my question. “What have I done wrong?”

I sat up sweating. Not knowing what just happened, I went to the kitchen and got myself a glass of water. The dream never left my mind. I couldn’t even tell if that was a dream, it seemed too real to be a dream- too familiar. However, it must have been a dream because Jack was in it and I had never met Jack before seeing him with Ronald in the hospital.

My mind went blank and I zoned out. One minute I was in full gear the next minute I was dropping my glass of water. The glass smashed on the floor, which snapped me out. Will ran in worried. He didn’t have a shirt on.

“Grell?” he asked. I was picking up the broken glass off the floor.

“I am alright.” I picked up the big pieces then got the dustpan and brush to clean up the rest.

“Your hand?” He got the first aid kit.

“I said: I’M ALRIGHT!” I snapped and ran to the bathroom. Did I regret running away and shouting at him? Of course I did, but he never gave up on me. He kept knocking on the bathroom door asking to talk to me.

I did let him in and he didn’t go to help my hand. He sat next to me and stayed quiet.

“You need to get better.” Was the first thing he said to me. Honestly, I didn’t feel as though much was wrong. Shaking my head, I stood up but Will took my hand. “I don’t know what it is about you Grell. You remind me of her for some reason.”

“Her?” I looked at him. So Will told me the truth. Their was a girl that he was in love with. He wanted to give her everything- even bought her a wedding ring. But, on the day he went to propose he caught her having sex with some other guy and it crushed him. The last words she said to him was “You left me waiting too long” which is a load of rubbish. “So how do I remind you of her?”

“The way you act towards me Grell. Your looks. Just everything about you. You are like the spitting image of her.” My nose wrinkled hearing this.

“So… I am being compared to her?”

“Oh, no! Not at all. You are your own person, I’m not taking that away from you.” He said and I kissed him. It was a nice kiss. Very loving. I practically melted into it. The only thing that ruined what had just happened was the dreaming coming into my mind again.