Hours had passed and Tony hadn’t exitted the room he had aquired to be his own. Steve had been pacing backwards and forward, trying to think of a way to help him. He thought about calling Tony’s parents, but I can imagine that his dad would probably blame him. Steve’s parents weren’t home at the moment. His mother had taken him home and then gone back to work. Apparently he was going through shit for being Tony’s boyfriend and it was giving flash backs to when he was at his old school. Steve froze.
“We should call the school and tell them- no that would make things worse on Tony. We could call the police- no. He’d have to stand up in court and explain what happened and I dont think hes up for that.” Steve rambled. He was getting frustrated and ended up just banging his head against the wall.
“Talk to him, and find out what he wants to do.” I suggested. Steve looked at me. “If anyone can get through to him, it is you. You’re his boyfriend.” That was true. I know I could never get through to Tony. I struggled to get through to him enough for him to tell me he wasn’t straight.
I went up the stairs and knocked on the door to my parent’s bedroom- which was so clearly where Tony was hiding out because all the other doors were open.
“Go away.” He said. I ignored that and entered.
“Tony, it’s me.” I said. He wasn’t in the bed. He had pulled all the covers off the bed and was curled up in the corner. I walked over to him and knelt by him.
“I know its hard okay. We’re going to get through this. We will get through it together.” I said, trying to sound friendly to him.
“Together? It wasn’t you who was forced into- while they filmed it…” He couldn’t even say the words. He was angry at me though for suggesting we’d get through it together.
“I know. You’re right. But it was me that was sticking up for you and telling people that the rumours were all false. And it was me who stayed by your side nearly every night after you had your heart attack. And it was me who drove you home and put you to bed after your anxiety attack. And it was me who you kissed in public in front of everyone because you loved me. If none of that means anything to you then I will just go.” I said. He relaxed his legs and arms a little.
“Steve, I don’t know what to do. I can’t skip school again- but I can’t go back there.” He had obviously been crying and was obviously about to cry again.
“What if we view this as one of them assignments that we get in Chemistry. We create a theory. Test it and record if it works or not? We can go through the motions- coming up with a different idea to help you and test it. If they don’t work we try again with another theory.” Tony seemed to be listening now. I think I broke through to him.
“What do you propose we do first?” He asked.
“How about, we tell your mother what has happened… Or at least I will. We have her ring the school saying you’re not going to be in for a while. You can stay here and I’ll bring home all of your work. I’m in your classes anyway. And if your dad finds out you’re skipping school or if anyone else other than you, Bruce and me -and your mother of course- find out where you are we move on to plan B.” Tony sprung at me and hugged me tightly.
“Yes please.” His voice was quiet. He buried his head into my neck. “Thank you.”
“No problem. Today’s assignment is operation hide Tony away.” I chuckled. He smiled softly.
“I love you” he whispered.
“I love you too.”
The walls constantly feel like they are drawing ever closer. The door seems to be running away. The light is being sucked out of the room. Then I realise that none of that is happening and it is all in my head. I see their faces burning into my mind. Clint. Thor. Pietro. And a few others. What they did to me was unspeakable. Unthinkable even. All of this over a rumour. I feel sick when I think of what happened. My insides physically hurt. I’m not as strong as I once thought I was. But I need to move past this. I don’t want to think about it no more. I want it to be over.
The door opens. It’s Steve. He’s returned from school and is carrying a few books and work sheets. It is a good job that I am smart, because some of this stuff I might have needed to go to a teacher for help with had I had normal intellect. Steve looked at me. The food he had brought me earlier was barely touched. I felt too sick to touch it. He let out a sigh and kissed my head.
“Tony. I know it hurts, but you have to eat okay.” Steve said softly. I shook my head quickly and opened one of the books. I needed to take my mind off the mess. Off the tragedy. I hated myself. The way that it happened. My body enjoyed it even though my mind was yelling no. How could my body betray me like that?
“Steve. Can we have sex?” I asked. My voice quiet. I don’t know why I asked that. I just thought that if me and him did it, I would be cleansed of all the shit which happened.
“Are you sure, Tony? Is it not a bit too soon after… And.. You sure you want to rush into it?”
“If I don’t do it now. I don’t think I’ll be able to bounce back mentally.” I said honestly. Its true. If I don’t get my mind off what happened then that is going to be stuck in my head forever. I never even asked if Steve was ready for this. I’m pretty sure he’s a virgin.
” Well okay. I’ll do anything to help you.”
“We’ll do it however you want to though. I’m not stating how this must be done.” I look away kind of shy. Steve leaned over me on the bed and kissed me.
“You can stop me at any time.”
I was very shocked at Tony’s request, but I did it anyway. And currently he was laid asleep with his head on my chest. He seemed calm. I was happy that I could help. His legs were intertwined with mine as I drifted off to sleep.
Waking up to see him still asleep on my chest made me feel warm inside. Tony shifted and then woke. He let out a yawn and then looked up at me. His face lit up as a smile crawled up his cheeks. This was the first time since the incident that I had seen him smile. I leaned down and kissed him gently. Last night was something that we both wanted. It was perfect. We got it right. When you love someone properly, sex is like magic. You become a single entity rather than two seperate beings. Your bodies move in perfect harmony and sync and you can just sense what you both like and want. That’s how it was last night- for me at least. I can’t speak for Tony because I am sure he has his own opinion on the matter. For instance, that was my first time with anyone. For Tony, it was just his first (concentual) time with a male.
Tony shifted and pulled away then rushed to the bathroom. I chuckled and waited for him to come out of it.
“How was last night?” I asked, hoping he enjoyed it. From the noises he made last night, I know that he enjoyed it but heat of the moment words and sounds are one thing. The morning after opinions are another.
Tony sat on the bed and looked at me.
“You could do with more practice. But to be honest, that was the best assignment I have ever done.” He said. He leaned in to kiss me.
“Did it help get your mind of…” I didn’t say it, but he pulled away- not wanting to kiss me any more.
“You just had to ruin the moment didn’t you. Yes it did. But it’s back in my mind again now.” Tony frowned. He sounded more frustrated than anything. I shifted to him and started to kiss down his neck- something I found out last night that Tony absolutely loved.
“I’m sorry. Today’s assignment can be me making it up to you” I smile. Tony bursts out laughing.
“You better.” He turns around and kisses me.